One of many issues Jason Robert Santiago loves about his job as a New York Metropolis bus driver is that behind the wheel, he can get a whole lot of considering performed.
Final fall he found out how he was going to suggest to Tiffany Antoinette Curler, for instance. Years earlier than that, he labored via a fleeting concern that she may be obsessive about him. These days he has been mulling over ideas from common passengers about tips on how to make a wedding final.
“One in all them was telling me that if you’d like it to outlive, you must study to let go of the little issues otherwise you’ll find yourself resenting the particular person,” he mentioned. He and Ms. Curler have already got expertise tackling a giant factor. Since 2023, they’ve been making an attempt, unsuccessfully, to conceive a toddler.
Ms. Curler and Mr. Santiago, each 36, are native New Yorkers. In early January 2020, he noticed her image on Instagram and agreed with the app: She was somebody he would possibly need to join with. “I noticed she was a nice-looking lady and thought, I’ll take a shot,” he mentioned. He messaged her to introduce himself. For per week, they ping-ponged messages. When he began lobbying for a date, he made positive she knew he would wish not less than a day’s discover to get himself prepared.
“I keep in mind him saying, ‘Let me know if you happen to’re free on a Friday evening as a result of I’ll must get a haircut,’” Ms. Curler mentioned. Her job as a common supervisor on the Paul Labrecque Salon & Skincare Spa, on East 57th Road in Manhattan, had made him self-conscious about his appears.
The daughter of a retired N.Y.P.D. policeman, Ms. Curler grew up in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, with a youthful brother, Jason Curler. Their mother and father, Louise Bruno-Curler and Thomas Curler, moved in together with her maternal grandmother, Antoinette Bruno, when she was a child. In 2002, Ms. Curler’s mom died abruptly on Christmas Day from an an infection introduced on by strep throat. Ms. Curler was 14; Jason, now a New York Metropolis policeman like their father, was 7. Shared grief introduced the household nearer. “At residence there have been all the time a whole lot of laughs,” she mentioned. “Jason and I had been each good youngsters and all of us revered one another.”
In 2014, grief over the lack of a member of the family got here for her once more when Ms. Curler’s grandmother, who had turn into extra like a mom, died after a stroke. “That was much more of a trauma than when my mother died,” she mentioned. “It was the toughest time of my life.”
A 12 months later, she was employed as a receptionist at Paul Labrecque.
By then, she had accomplished an affiliate diploma in psychology from the Faculty of Staten Island and was searching for a change of surroundings.
“I had all the time labored native jobs,” typically on the entrance desk of spas and salons, she mentioned. “I wanted to get out of Brooklyn.”
Commuting to Manhattan to Paul Labrecque carried with it a way of sophistication: “It felt like a big-girl job,” she mentioned. In 2017, Ms. Curler moved out of the home in Bensonhurst and purchased a condominium on Staten Island.
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Mr. Santiago was born in Bensonhurst and grew up in Nice Kills, Staten Island. He and his two sisters, one older and one youthful, had been raised partially by their grandparents after his mom and father, Alison Heilweil-Santiago and Rogelio Santiago, divorced.
When he graduated from Susan E. Wagner Excessive College, he took a couple of on-line school programs, however nothing compelled him towards a level. For years, he bounced from job to job. “You title it, I attempted it: I cleaned carpets, I did flood restoration, I delivered pizzas.” He credit his mom with serving to him land what he referred to as “a strong metropolis job” in 2015 with the Metropolitan Transportation Authority; she had signed him up for the assessments that will finally qualify him as a bus driver.
On Jan. 9, 2020, Ms. Curler instructed Mr. Santiago to guide himself a haircut, setting in movement their first date the following day on the Hop Shoppe, a Staten Island gastro pub. As a result of he drives the rush-hour categorical bus from Staten Island to Manhattan and again each weekday, she felt secure letting him decide her up at her apartment in his Jeep. Her confidence in him not being the reckless kind was not initially a two-way avenue.
“She received within the automobile with a drink in her hand,” Mr. Santiago mentioned. “I assumed, possibly she’s a bit too wild for me.” Later that evening, she instructed him the drink was a approach to hold her nerves at bay. As soon as they began speaking, she knew she didn’t want it.
Mr. Santiago was then residing together with his grandmother, Eileen Gaffan-MacArthur, on Staten Island. “Some girls may be turned off by a person in his 30s residing together with his grandma,” Ms. Curler mentioned. “However he was caring for her after a fall, and I revered him for that. I had cared for my grandma earlier than she handed. It felt like a pleasant connection.”
As a result of Ms. Curler’s job was at a salon with an upscale popularity, Mr. Santiago hadn’t counted on Ms. Curler being somebody he felt he might joke with. “You’ll assume she can be snobby or excessive upkeep,” he mentioned. “She wasn’t that in any respect.” That evening, they kissed at a pink mild on the drive residence. His haircut, in a mode Ms. Curler referred to as a “tape-up” — quick on the perimeters and longer on prime — had been met together with her approval.
Earlier than the onset of Covid that March, they had been spending a lot time collectively — together with on Mr. Santiago’s bus, which Ms. Curler began going out of her approach to catch on fifty fifth Road after work — that Mr. Santiago frightened issues had been shifting too quick. “He sat me down and mentioned, ‘I actually such as you, however I believe we should always pump the brakes,’” Ms. Curler mentioned. “For per week or so there was this weirdness. I didn’t know tips on how to act.”
“I didn’t need to get sick of her,” he mentioned. “I assumed, possibly it’s a bit a lot. Perhaps she’s obsessive about me.” When he contracted Covid later that spring and moved into her apartment to quarantine away from his grandmother, his ambivalence shifted. “Tiffany took care of me,” he mentioned, and so they received alongside nice. “That was it for pumping the brakes.”
Mr. Santiago made his transfer to Ms. Curler’s apartment everlasting final summer season. By then, he knew he wished to marry her. However he additionally knew marriage wasn’t her prime relationship precedence.
“Tiffany needs to be a mom greater than she needs to be a spouse,” he mentioned. Quickly after turning into a pair, they agreed they wished a child. “From the start, Jason and I had been very open to the thought of no matter occurs, occurs,” she mentioned. By early 2023, after a collection of fertility assessments, they had been starting to just accept that, for them, conceiving would possibly require medical intervention.
“I used to be by no means anti-marriage,” she mentioned. “I simply all the time thought Jason and I’ll in all probability have youngsters, then go right down to Metropolis Corridor with marriage ceremony bands and legalize every thing.” Mr. Santiago upended that plan on Oct. 26, with a shock proposal. He had been planning the second on his bus route.
Throughout a trip within the Bahamas, he wrote, “Will you marry me?” within the sand. “I by no means thought Jason may very well be that considerate,” Ms. Curler mentioned. She additionally didn’t count on getting engaged to carry the fog of disappointment over their bother conceiving. However it did, not less than partially. “I began considering, possibly God has a distinct plan for us, and we’re presupposed to get married first. It’s been such a contented time for me.”
On March 20, Ms. Curler and Mr. Santiago had been married by Shunya Togashi, an officiant on the Staten Island Marriage Bureau, on what would have been Ms. Bruno’s 100 birthday. Fifteen company attended, together with Ms. Curler’s brother and father and Mr. Santiago’s mom and grandmother.
Ms. Curler wore a brief white gown with black stockings and an elbow-length customized veil impressed by an outdated photograph of Priscilla Presley, a favourite superstar. Mr. Santiago wore a grey go well with he had shopped for at JCPenney together with his mom.
“It felt intimate however enjoyable,” Ms. Curler mentioned shortly after the marriage, which was capped by company showering them in bubbles in lieu of the normal rice. Mr. Santiago was pleased to have the ability to name her his spouse. “Simply seeing her smile the best way she did — she’s the very best,” he mentioned.
Each left the wedding bureau hopeful in regards to the future. “We’re excited to be shifting on to the following part collectively,” Ms. Curler mentioned. “Changing into mother and father, I believe, will likely be simply across the nook.”
On This Day
When March 20, 2025
The place The Staten Island Marriage Bureau
Cheers and Chopsticks After the ceremony, the couple and their company went out for Chinese language meals at Oriental Plaza, a favourite Staten Island restaurant. “I wished lo mein, dumplings and a Food regimen Coke,” Ms. Curler mentioned. “As New York because it will get.” On Might 9, they are going to maintain a bigger reception for 50 company on the Staten Island location of Patrizia’s, an Italian restaurant.
Advantages The couple hopes being on the identical insurance coverage coverage as a married couple will assist their fertility journey. Mr. Santiago’s state well being advantages could cowl a majority of the prices of intrauterine insemination or in vitro fertilization prices, Ms. Curler mentioned.
Jewel of a Passenger One in all Mr. Santiago’s common passengers is a jeweler. Days earlier than the marriage, “he met me at his cease with a hoop sizer so I might determine what dimension my marriage ceremony ring will likely be,” he mentioned. “It was fairly particular.”
